if only...

if only i was given another chance, i wouldn't be so guilty. i would definitely cherish it.. if only.......

yesterday was a disastrous day for my family and i. everything was perfectly normal the previous day. and the next day, he's gone. my heart dropped.. this feeling never struck me before. yesterday was the first time of my entire life.

all good things come to an end. CHERISH is the word to use now.

i know he wouldn't want to leave so fast.. he didnt get to say goodbye to all of us and didnt get to see my grandmother for the last time. he didnt get to eat mee pok, durian and char siew bao which he always longed for. he havent seen any of his grand-children get married and have his great-grandson/daughter. he didnt get to see my cousin becoming a doctor. and he had his last dinner with all of us.

i'm sorry wai gong........ really.... i really regret not visiting u when you're in hospital.. i wanted to go.. really bt i jus thought that you'll be fine and shall visit u another time. but now.... i cant visit u anymore. i cant hear yr nags anymore. i cant hear u shouting here and there. and no one will play with me mahjong during CNY.