hello

i'm back again!

few days back, my vice-principal called and told me that my appeal had failed. i'm neither sad nor happy. i dunno why either.. al my friends are all going to 4e3 next yr and some might get promoted only. i hoped that al can go up smoothly cause it's really hurting to get drop to normal. the worst week of my life is during the last last week when i knew that i'm going to drop. maybe it is a good thing for me to go to 4N next year but i jus can't accept the fact. i don't want to slow by one year, i don't want to lose contacts with my classmates now, i want to study together with all of them and taking the same papers but nw is all an illusion. i can't change all these.. AHHH!! i'm really afraid people might despise me and just leave me all alone taking the 'N' levels. starting from next year, i'll be doing everything alone. no one to entertain me during class, no one to gossip woth me during class, no one to pon sch with me and no one and no one. all will be done alone. i hate to be alone!! school will be so meaningless to me . i'm scared that i might nt be able to take the loneliness and just jump down the building and die..............

fcuk it. i'm stupid. like i gif a fcuking damn about anything. why?!?! why dont they gif me a second chance!! i will do my very best.... but nw all is just too late. what's the point of writing all this shit here. no one will ever understand what this feeling is all abt. dun tell me u understand cause i know you wun.. i want to bleed to death but i've no courage to do so.